Bible Lesson 111
GOD’S PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” Ephesians 5:1-25.
IT IS NOT MARRIAGE THAT FAILS; IT IS PEOPLE THAT FAIL. ALL THAT MARRIAGE DOES IS, SHOW PEOPLE UP. ANONYMOUS
It is high time that we looked back to the Bible to understand the reality of what God intended marriage to be. If we study the Word of God and rightly understand what God has said to His creatures, we find that marriage was very important in God’s plan for mankind. Marriage was one of the first things that God instituted after He made man and woman. God did not make marriage to allow men and women to experiment with it by having multiple partners or by experiencing multiple marriages, instead, God has always intended that first, marriage was to be between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:18-,21-24).
Jesus Christ who is our Lord and Savior spoke to what marriage was supposed to be, in Matthew 19:4-6, in answer to a question by some Pharisees questions about divorce, and Christ said’..”Have you not read that God who made them at the beginning, made them male and female and said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate”. Second, God established marriage between a male and a female, who would be able to follow His command to “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (See Genesis 1:27-28). So we can establish that God’s intention was that marriage was to be between a woman and a man, it was to be once for as long as that couple shall live, and its purpose was to produce children, that would be raised in a family with a father and a mother.
Further, God created them male and female equal in His sight; but He gave each one different functions. The husband has his functions that God will judge him for and the woman had her functions which God will judge her for. God made it plain that in marriage there is established a bond of the two who are joined in wedlock. Their two bodies become one, by an act of sex which consummates their marriage. God gave mankind the gift of sex but only in marriage.
Any kind of sex outside the bond of Holy Matrimony is forbidden. The man and woman who take and make marriage vows, make those vows before God and man, and that marriage is to be honorable in every aspect and the husband or wife who dishonors themselves in breaking the marriage vows will answer to God for it.
The Bible teaches us that marriages are to be harmonious relationships because the husband and wife are now one flesh. Think about that and ask yourselves how one flesh can be unkind, or unloving to any part of their body. Remember that this statement about two people becoming one flesh is not a simple invitation, but it is a command from God and when a husband and wife are at odds with one another they are at odds with God (Mark 10:8). God’s word teaches us that married couples are to live their lives in harmony and that marriage is a spiritual companionship. How very sweet it is to have what God has prepared for you in marriage. Husbands should love and cherish their wives and provide for and protect them, and even be ready to die to protect her.
Wives are commanded to ‘submit themselves to their husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the savior of the body.’ God put that headship in place in the beginning, back there after the fall of man. God spoke to Eve and said, ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain, you shall bring forth children; and your desire shall be toward your husband, and he shall rule over you.’ Eve was the mother of sin, because she listened to the serpent and ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, so mothers since have been birthing children into this sinful world. Good mothers are to raise godly children. Sin has created a barrier between women and men and so the woman will for the most part desire to lord it over here husband, but God says to us through the Apostle Paul, ‘I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.’
God plans that godly men who have been born again, washed in the blood of Christ and fitted for heaven, would take a wife, for the rest of his life and love and cherish her and protect and provide for her as he leads a godly family in the way that God intends for people to live. In our pressure-cooker world where most people are so busy pandering to the latest fads and seeking gratification for the flesh from harlots and always seeking to take care of everyone’s business but his own, we have lost sight of the main thing and that begins with us and our lost conditions before God.
When a man gets that right and God calls him out of the sinful society to take the lead in marriage to raise godly sons and daughters, he does not have the time nor the desire to take part in the sin of the society. That is part of what families are for, and that is to give us a worthwhile refuge where we find love and acceptance and comfort and self-worth. Socrates said, ‘By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will become very happy; and if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher’..and that is good for any man.’ In a large percentage of the time, unhappy marriages are the result of either the husband or the wife or both being selfish. God calls us away from self and commands us to put self to death (Luke 9:23). Real men are men who love God and love their wives and families, enough to work as hard as they can to provide them with the needs of this life. Real women are women who can set aside their desires and come together with her husband and work to make their family a godly family.
Marriage should never be taken lightly. It is something that we do to glorify God by how our marriage works and our children are raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Marriage is not a short term commitment it is never finished in fact until one partner or the other dies. Marriages are like life in that there are always problems that will pop up, and that gives husbands and wives something to work out together. We have stated before and quoted scripture to prove God desires that men become real men and take up their function of being the head of the family.
Mark my words now, I did not say a man is the King, so man must understand that everything that he does in his leadership role must be done as if he were doing it for God’.because he is! Every marriage should be as close to 50/50 as two people who have become one flesh can make it. Major issues should be talked about and discussed and the wife should have her input into it all and the husband if he is smart will take what his wife suggests and fold it into his decision-making process. The only time that the husband will or should have the final say is when there is no way for the couple to come together. In that case, the husband will lovingly convince his wife of what should be done; and the wife will be submissive.
Marriages never fail, only people fail to work and solve little problems which over time become big problems. All that a failed marriage does is to point out people, who have failed, and people who have broken sacred vows, and people who have cut off their noses to spite their faces. Now that doesn’t sound like a lot of fun does it’ Whether you are male or female, the formula for success in marriage is, not only finding the right mate but in being the right mate. All too often people marry people that they do not know much about, and they seem to think that they will change all of the bad habits’s the other person has, but we all should know by now, that the only person that any of us can change is ourselves. Wait on God, pray about your marriage, and ask God to lead you to the person he has for you.
If you are a truly saved Christian, God would have you to marry a truly saved person. If you are saved and have already married a lost person, you are stuck with them unless and until you catch them committing adultery (Matthew 19:9). That verse means that if a spouse has definite proof that his/her mate is involved in adultery, and they cannot find the heart to forgive and forget then they may get a divorce. There is no other legitimate reason for divorce. Understand now, lost men and women when they get divorced and remarry, they do not change their standing before God, because they are already condemned and under the wrath of God. However, if this same divorced sinner has been married and got a divorce before he gets saved when he truly gets saved, God forgives all that, he becomes a new creature, a creature who is not guilty of those sins. We can never judge them again for the sins that God has forgiven them and that includes all sins.
One old gospel preacher has said that ‘Marriage has been reduced to a joke and is no longer a lifetime contract. We have cheap marriages and cheap homes because there are too many cheap people who lack the integrity to keep any contract.’ Listen to me now’.marriage was meant for men of honor and integrity who can be the leaders of their families. These are the kinds of men who have the backbone to stand on what God has said and then to teach his family God’s word and will lead them in it.
The man should be the man of the house and the wife should be proud and supportive of him as he leads his family in family altar every day at a set time when he gathers his wife and children around him and read them God’s Word the Bible and explains it to them. This does not require a college degree, just an interest in how his family will either suffer or prosper, and the desire to honor God in the way he leads his family. Husbands have to remember that their job as leader of the family is commanded by God who created us all. Life is real and how we live and conduct ourselves as we live together with our wives and children has a real and meaningful impact on the rest of the entire world. How you act toward your spouse will be remembered and displayed years later by how your children act toward their families.
What did Jesus think about marriage’ Well, He thought that it was to be between a man and woman for a lifetime, Jesus thought that the husband was to be responsible for the stability and the proper training and provision and protection for the family. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. The Woman is to lovingly submit to her husbands gentle leading and the children were to obey their parents Ephesians 5:22-6:4). God has warned us as Children of God to be careful not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers because they will hinder your faithful service to God (2nd Corinthians 6:14-18).
We must make sure that when we marry, we marry a true Christian, and you can not depend upon your great skill to change him or her after you are married. If a woman intends to marry she should be careful to select a man who is man enough to be a real Christian. It takes a real man to serve Christ and weak men just will not do. Men who are contemplating marriage should look for a Christian woman who would make a good mother and a submissive wife and who is characterized by the words of Proverbs 31: verses 10-31. However, the key to a proper marriage requires men that are of sound mind, and able to shoulder the God-given responsibility of leading his family. Let me stress that this leading is not to be in arrogance and mean spirited! God gives husbands the command to ‘dwell with their wives with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel’ (1st Peter 3:7). Husbands are to lead, not drive their wives and children; and this takes a special kind of man, a godly man.
God gave marriage to his human creatures for their fulfillment of His plan for the Creation. Marriage fulfills the husband and the wife for without a wife a husband is not complete, and the wife is not complete. Both of the sexes were meant to be one flesh with the other. That does not mean that you must be married to be saved; it means that it is easier to live saved if you are married to a godly spouse.
Marriage is much more than simply having a piece of paper signed by a civil authority. Marriage is what God gave to man to complete paradise, however, some make it almost hell to live in. Marriage as God intended marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4). Both partners going into a marriage should remember that if they dishonor their marriage they are breaking a vow to God. If we look back to Genesis chapter 2 we find that God made the animals before He made Adam and then God took the animals to Adam and had Adam name them all, God did that so that Adam would know that he was more than an animal in the sight of God.
God has said ‘It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him’. And so God put Adam to sleep and took a rib from his side and made the woman, then God brought her to Adam who saw that this woman was part of his body. This pictures what God gave us marriage to represent. God portrayed the father of the bride, bringing her to complete God’s creatures. God gave us marriage for several different reasons, First, Companionship (Genesis 2:18-25), Second, Procreation (Genesis 1:27-28; Genesis 5:4), Third, Sex, which is to draw the couple together for procreation, comfort and enjoyment (Genesis 2:24), Fourth, to avoid fornication (1st Corinthians 7:2), Fifth, to teach the children, and community how to live at peace with others (Titus 2:2-5). Last but not least, Godly families are the glue that holds communities together in a moral and ethical sense.
What husbands and wives must come to realize is that their lives and the way that they live those lives are a major interest to God. God does not approve of families that produce simple, unproductive, children that are an anchor on their community rather than being able to advance the moral and the overall health of their community. God does not approve of fathers who take on a wife only to abuse and misuse her, and produce children who will be trapped in the worthless style of their fathers. If you are a father that has not worked and applied yourself to keeping your family in the light of God’s will, you will stand before God one day to answer for your life, but you will also answer for not raising your children in the nurture and admonition of God. The woman you marry is your wife, and even if you cannot keep her happy, you are still her husband. You can love anybody that you want to; all you have to do is try.
Until next time,
may God bless and keep you
This is Bro. Bob